Drowning in Their Expectations
by warrior of the nile
Summary: When Bucky wakes up, he knows it is going to be a Bad Day. His point is proven when he starts a fight then storms out. Too bad he didn't realize just how bad it was going to be until he got back. [When Tony wakes up, he knows it is going to be a good day. He slept peacefully for once and is feeling good. But then there is the fight and everything went to hell. Shows what he knows]


prompt fill from an unanswered prompt on imaginetonyandbucky on tumblr:

Tony Stark is a sub. No one knows Tony Stark is a sub. Until one day, after a particularly bad fight between Bucky and Tony about god knows what, Bucky leaves for a few drinks and to cool off, and when he comes back, he finds Tony in their bedroom, kneeling on the floor with tears in his eyes and begging for forgiveness because everyone knows subs and dons don't do well on their own and that Tony is insecure as hell.

 **tw** : Just a word to the wise, Tony's POV takes a darker turn than Bucky's POV. There's mention of sub/child abuse in there because Howard is an ass. The most detailed part is the paragraph that begins with 'There is one time in particular...' It won't hurt the story to skip it if it's too much. But if anyone can't handle it at all, you can stop after Bucky's POV without missing anything. It's the same story, but I wrote it from both of their POV.

* * *

 **Bucky POV**

Bucky lets his fist fly one last time and the bag goes flying. It hits the wall with a resounding smack. Bucky stares at it, feeling the anger drain out of him. Now all he feels is empty and tired. Today... is not a good day. He woke up in a foul mood, just wanting to be alone. Which is a problem when you wake up with your boyfriend using you as a pillow. Tony had been sleeping peacefully for once, no nightmares to disturb him.

Part of Bucky – a distant part then – had been happy at the sight. Both of them have sleeping issues so any restful sleep they get is always a victory. But at the time he had hardly been in the mood to appreciate it. He felt trapped in Tony's arms – restricted. So he had silently slipped out, hoping a shower and a good breakfast would knock him out of his state of mind.

Tony had been awake when he came back. And of course he made some stupid little remark about Bucky showering alone. Of course he did. Tony is always making comments and snark like that. He would out talk God if he could. Usually Bucky finds it endearing. Not then. Then Bucky took offense and started a fight. A vicious one at that. Stupid, it's true, but vicious.

Honestly he's not sure what it was even about. All he knows is that insults flew fast and heavy. Bucky stormed out at one point, knowing he had to get away from the situation before he said something he would _really_ regret. He already regrets taking his bad mood out on Tony enough as it is.

Staring at the punching bag, all Bucky can think of is that Tony is going to be pissed. These things really are suppose to be unbreakable. Or mostly unbreakable. Everyone always assumes it's Steve that destroys the most punching bags. That's not strictly true. He uses them more, sure, so it's more obvious when he destroys one. But, statistically speaking, Bucky is harder on them. He uses them less often, but most of the time when he does they end up broken.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. One more thing to apologize for then. Better do that now and get it over with. He really hates days like this. Hopefully Tony will be okay spending the rest of the day on the couch watching mindless tv. Maybe a Fast and Furious marathon. Or Die Hard. Something with explosions that he doesn't have to think about.

Unless of course he's busy. Or says he's busy and needs to be alone instead. Bucky hates when Tony does that – lock himself away to deal with his problems. He respects it and doesn't force himself on him if he truly needs it, but he still hates it. It makes him feel like a failure and a shitty Dom. Not that Tony is a sub, so there's no reason to feel like that. But try telling that to his brain. Instincts suck.

And it's not as if he wants something that could be labeled Dom/sub anyways. All he wants to do it cuddle. Tony is a surprisingly cuddly person, once you get past enough of his walls. Not that he would ever say that to his face. He's not that stupid, even if present behavior doesn't reflect that. Privately he thinks there's some touch starvation going on there, but again, he's not stupid enough to say it.

Leaning against the elevator wall he waits as it takes him back up to the penthouse. In his head he rehearses what he is going to say. Not that the conversation is likely to go that way, but it helps him get a grip on his words. Even now, long after he is technically healed after his time with HYDRA, certain things are a challenge. Words – speaking – always seems to be at the top of that list.

But when he walks into their bedroom, all thoughts of words fly out of his mind. Because there, kneeling naked in the middle of the room, is Tony. Knees spread, arms behind his back as his hands clasp his elbows, _tears in his eyes_ , Tony stares blankly ahead. It is one of the traditional positions subs have and Bucky is about to have a heart attack right then and there.

A sub? Tony is a sub? How can that be when he is classified as a neutral? A neutral with some serious Dom tendencies, it's true, but Bucky assumed that he picked up those habits growing up. Everyone did. It ends to happen sometimes when a neutral spends large amounts of time with either a Dom or a sub in early childhood. Howard Stark was a Dom. By all reports he spent a lot of time teaching Tony.

But there is no mistaking it. This is not some echoed behavior Tony saw and is copying. No, this is pure instinct. The look on his face is enough to tell Bucky that. The implications are sickening. Now is not the time however. That can wait until later. Maybe when he has destroyed another punching bag. There is some instinct that is screaming at him that something is wrong. Something more than the obvious. But now is the time to take care of the obviously distressed sub in front of him.

A closer look tells him that he is dealing with at least a partial subdrop. Maybe a full one. He approaches slowly. He lifts a hand, intending to cradle Tony's head against his side. But Tony flinches – _flinches_ – and lowers himself farther so that his head is resting against Bucky's foot. He doesn't make a sound.

Shit this is not good. It seems that this is worse than he thought. A sub drop, definitely. And a hard one at that. Damn it. Bucky would have done things differently today if he had known.

He would have done _a lot_ of things differently in their relationship as a whole. Not because he thinks Tony is fragile. People who think subs are delicate and need to be limited to "protect them from themselves" are idiots. But only the shittiest of Doms ignore a subs biology. Whether you take them down or not, there are things you do not do. And only an asshole storms out on their sub without a word. That's just asking for a disaster. Hence the situation he has now.

"Hey no doll, it's alright. You're alright," he begins to reassure, gently pulling his foot away. He drops down to one knee and begins playing with Tony's hair. He always loves that. Maybe Bucky is an idiot for not realizing this sooner. It certainly explains many of Tony's little 'quirks', as he had thought them.

But Tony shakes his head. His knuckles are turning white with the grip he has on his arms. He still doesn't make a sound.

Bucky wants to move his arms so that he doesn't hurt himself, but that is another bad idea so he ignores the impulse. Instead he focuses on calming Tony down enough to get him to at least look at him. All he wants to do is gather him into his arms, but forcing him out of his position right now won't do any good. So he continues to say soft, reassuring words, but it doesn't seem to help. He is still silent and unmoving. "Talk to me sweetheart," he begs.

He almost wished he hadn't when Tony does start talking.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sir. Master. I'm bad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be Sir. I didn't mean to be bad. I'm sorry Master," on and on and _on_ he babbles the same line of thought.

Bucky feels vaguely nauseous at the words. To an outsider they might sound like a typical sub babbling for forgiveness. But Bucky can hear a certain... tone of voice in those words. A tinge of desperation and... something else he can't exactly describe, but sets his instincts off like no other. Oh yes, another round in the gym is going to be necessary. Maybe a few if his instincts turn out to be right.

Master. Jesus Christ does that sound so wrong coming from Tony. If Bucky would have ever thought about it, he would assume Tony would be a bratty sub. Or maybe a sweet, affectionate one. Possibly both, depending on his mood. But Master? No. That's not just submissive, that's... more. The same desperation that is making him panic is making him call Bucky 'Master'.

Bucky reaches out then, not capable of holding back any longer, but Tony resists. He doesn't come up and forward like Bucky wants. Instead he turns, presenting his ass to him. It is clear what he thinks Bucky wants. Muscles tense and relax in a constant battle to brace himself for what he thinks is coming.

He does touch, but to pet rather than hurt. Hurting Tony is that last thing on his mind right now. Learned behavior. This is most definitely learned behavior. This confirms his theory, as does the flinch Tony clearly held back at the first touch. But most telling right now is the way he stays still, making no effort to move away. Nor does he protest or try to get out of it. Tony has been trained to expect this. And considering that, until now, no one seems to know Tony is a sub, Bucky has a pretty good idea who did the training. Or, at the very least, paid for said training and for silence on the matter. Either way the Dom clearly had a hard hand.

Personally Bucky has no respect for hard handed Doms. Not if their sub isn't fully into it as well. They take a precious gift and abuse it. Disgusting. Too bad time machines haven't been invented yet. Maybe he should mention it to Tony, once all of this is over. It's a win-win situation. Tony gets a new, fun project. Bucky gets a way to punch Howard fucking Stark – and whoever else, if anyone – in the goddamn face. Perfect.

"Shh, sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you. You don't deserve that."

"Bad boy," Tony whimpers, "bad boy."

"No love. No doll. No you aren't. This morning was my fault, not yours. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. I'm sorry sugarplum."

"Bad," Tony repeats.

"We both said things we didn't mean today. It was a bad _situation_ , but that doesn't make _you_ bad," he emphasizes, hoping it will get through.

But Tony just shakes his head in denial.

Alright, so he's getting nowhere like this. Being firmer now, but still gentle, he pulls Tony up and into his arms. Something in him relaxes at that, even though Tony is still clearly upset. This is something he can do. He feels a fine tremor running through Tony, making him tighten his hold. With one hand cradling Tony's face to his shoulder, he uses the other to pry Tony's hands apart and loop them around his waist.

Tony obeys, but it is clear that is only because Bucky wants them there. There is no tightening that signals he is returning the hug. There is not much of a response at all. Tony is limp in Bucky's arms. Not resisting, which is a start, but not leaning into it either. Bucky continues to croon, petting his hair all the while. His shirt is soon soaked, but he pays it no mind.

He's not sure how long they stay like that before something in Tony seems to give. He goes from limp to melting into the touch. Probably more from exhaustion than anything else, but at this point Bucky will take it. The tears finally stop falling from his eyes. He is silent again, but it is a different sort of silence than before. Not relaxed, not yet, but getting there.

Scooping him up he brings them both to the couch. "JARVIS put on Star Trek please," he says.

"Of course Sergeant Barnes."

Not the mindless show he wanted, but it is Tony's favorite. That's all that matters right now. He wraps them both in the soft blanket they keep just for this purpose. Later, when he has relaxed fully, Bucky will make sure he gets his favorite meal. But for now they are going to lay here and cuddle while Tony comes back to himself.

They are clearly going to have to talk about this, but that is for another day. Anther long and stressful day, Bucky is sure. There is no way it is going to go well. But still, another day. For now he has a sub that he needs to take care of.

 **Tony POV**

The day started out well for Tony. He woke up naturally for once, no nightmares or new inventions interrupting his sleep. Take it he woke to an empty bed, where he would have very much liked to wake with his boyfriend, but that is something easily solved, He grinned as he heard the shower turn off.

"Hey hot stuff," he greeted as Bucky walked in with just a towel around his waist. Yummy. "You should have woken me. It is practically a sin, you in there all by your lonesome."

But instead of flirting back, Bucky had scowled at him. "Not everything is about you Stark."

Tony is taken aback by the tone, but recognizes the signs well enough. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He tried to lighten the mood, saying, "Sure it is. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

Clearly that had been the wrong thing to say because that started one of the worse fights yet to date they have had as a couple. They've had arguments before, sure, but nothing like this. This is vicious and loud and meant to hurt. And senseless because soon into it Tony is just shouting, not even sure why anymore. Then Bucky had stormed out, leaving a deafening silence behind him.

And thus what had led to this situation here. Him, kneeling naked on the floor, hands behind his back and tears in his eyes. He knows this is the wrong way to react. He knows what he should do. He should dress, go down to the workshop and ride this out there. Wouldn't be the first time he has done just that. He doubts it will be the last.

He isn't even sure what it is about this fight that set him off so badly. It's not their first fight. Nor is it the first time someone has ever yelled abuse at him. He's learned to deal with that at an early age. Right around the time he learned his favorite coping mechanism – hide until he has his emotions under control again. Emotions are unseemly. Never show them, only what people want to see. And who wants to see a snot nosed brat cry? No one, that's who. So he knows what to do.

But he can't seem to make himself move. The mere thought of it is enough to make him panic. He can't leave until his Dom comes back and punishes him. He deserves to be punished. He was bad. A bad boy. Bad sub. Always a bad sub.

But that's wrong. Bucky isn't his Dom. He can't be because Tony can't be a sub. Forget what biology says, he _can't_ be a sub. He is a Stark. Stark men are not subs. What use is a sub to Howard? To Stark Industries? They can use a Dom. They can use a neutral. Hell, they can even use a Switch in a pinch of desperation, given that he can control his submissive instincts. But a sub? No. There is no use for a sub.

Therefore Tony Stark is not a sub.

Only try telling that to his biology now. At first he tried to reason with himself. Bucky is clearly having a bad day, is all. He'll be fine after he calms down. He's not going to leave Tony. Not over this. Not over a stupid little quip. It's fine. Everything will be fine. Couples fight all the time. They are hardly the exception to the rule. _Everything will be fine_.

Of course then he hears Howard's voice in his head, telling him to shut up. No one wants to hear him talk. No one cares what he has to say. All he does is uselessly babble and annoy everyone around him. That he is a failure. He will always be a failure. Everyone will leave him because eventually they will all realize this.

The longer it goes on, the harder it is for Tony to ignore. Trying to work on his tablet doesn't help. Nor does pacing. Taking a shower is out of the question with the state of mind he is in. Trying to dress is a lost cause from the start. Eventually even walking is too much and he drops to the floor to wait. He doesn't even realize that he is crying. Not at first. Not until the room around him begins to blur.

Just another failure on his part. Weak. Useless. Worthless. No one can ever love him. Not for long. Not once they realize just how much he _isn't_ worth it. Not the time nor the energy nor anything else. He is destined to be alone because he was stupid enough to be a sub, not a Dom.

What if Bucky has realized this? What if that is why he left? What if he never came back? Or only comes back long enough to get his things and leaves again?

All these thoughts are so loud in Tony's head that he doesn't hear Bucky return. He doesn't see him until he sees a hand lifted towards his face. He flinches and then curses himself ten times a coward. If Bucky wants to hit him he can. That is his right. Tony has been bad. He needs to be punished.

He lowers himself even farther, resting his head on Bucky's foot. Submissive. Disgusting, but this is Bucky's right. He deserves it. Resistance will only make it worse.

But then he speaks. "Hey no doll, it's alright. You're alright." He pulls his foot away and drops down on one knee. That's what it sounds like anyways. He's not completely sure because he doesn't look. Can't look. It's not proper for a sub about to be punished to look at his Dom. His Master.

He wants to beg forgiveness. He wants to say how sorry he is that he was bad. But he doesn't because talking isn't allowed during punishment either. He talks too much all the time as it is. Talking is against the rules. A sub must be silent and take the punishment he deserves. That's how it works. Howard taught him that. If Tony was going to be a sub then Howard was going to show him how a sub behaved.

A hand begins playing with his hair and Tony fights the urge to lean into it. God does he love having his hair played with. There is just something about it. Bucky does it without a thought too. He's always so gentle, yet so firm. It feels amazing, especially if Tony is fighting a headache. Sometimes that will stop it or at least lessen the inevitable pain. Other times it seems to be the only thing that can cheer him up. Biology is weird like that.

But now is not the time for that. Now is the time for punishment. He tightens the hold on his arms to keep himself still. No moving. No sound. Take what your Dom gives you because it is what you deserve.

Bucky is saying something, but Tony isn't really listening at this point. He's having trouble concentrating right now to be honest. It's all a little... fuzzy. But then he hears a command. "Talk to me sweetheart."

His brain takes that as permission to speak the words he had been holding back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sir. Master. I'm bad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be Sir. I didn't mean to be bad. I'm sorry Master." He about trips over his words, trying to get them all out. To speak while he is still allowed.

Then Tony feels a hand on him and automatically moves into the correct position. It isn't one that he has assumed in a long time, but it is one he remembers vividly. It had been beaten into him – literally – after all. He turns and presents his ass, ready for punishment. He tries to relax so it won't hurt as much, but it is hard. He keeps tensing before reminding himself to relax. Accept it. He deserves it after all.

Vaguely he wonders if Bucky will use a hand or something else. Howard favored a heavy wooden paddle and – when he was really angry – a cane. The older Tony got, the more he got the cane. The memory is enough to make Tony bite his lip to keep from begging. He knows how truly brutal the cane can be. Howard always wielded it with a single minded ruthlessness that left Tony aching for days afterwards. A constant reminder, until he healed, of how _not_ to behave.

There is one time in particular that is burned into Tony's memory. Howard had been truly enraged with him for something Tony no longer remembers. He made Tony present and hold his cheeks open, sticking his ass as high in the air as he could while spreading his legs too wide apart. High enough and wide enough so that he could see his "slutty little hole and disgusting, disobedient cock". He then proceeded to beat his entrance, cock and balls. Tony had almost bitten through his lip that day, trying to be silent. Then he made Tony masturbate, rubbing his inflamed genitals, until he came. It was pure torture and was something that haunted Tony for years afterwards.

He doesn't like pain. He never has. He's never seen the appeal of it. Apparently that meant there was just something wrong with him too. Subs were suppose to love pain, according to Howard. So that was another failure on Tony's part. He's always been one for sensations, not that he ever got a chance to indulge himself.

Then again Bucky doesn't need a paddle or a cane when he has a metal arm. Tony built that arm. He knows exactly what it can do. More damage than a paddle, that's for sure. At least, even if he uses a chopping motion instead of a slap, it is impossible to replicate the sting of the cane. It will hurt like hell, but at least it's not the cane.

He waits, but Bucky begins petting his ass instead. He tenses in surprise. Oh. Maybe he isn't about to spank Tony. Maybe he is going to fuck Tony instead. He hopes he will at least use lube, even if he is unlikely to stretch him. This is punishment after all. It's not supposed to be enjoyable for him. But that doesn't mean Bucky can't. He's the one having to deal with Tony all the time. He likely needs some stress relief.

"Shh sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you. You don't deserve that," he says.

Well that doesn't make any sense. Of course it is going to hurt. That is the whole point of punishment. And of course he deserves the punishment in the first place. He was bad. "Bad boy, bad boy," he whimpers in protest. He knows he shouldn't speak, but clearly Bucky is confused. He needs to be punished.

"No love. No doll. No you aren't. This morning was my fault, not yours. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. I'm sorry sugarplum."

"Bad," Tony repeats in protest. He was. He knows it. Why is Bucky drawing this out? Is this suppose to be part of his punishment too? Convince Bucky he was bad so Bucky knows that he understands what he did wrong?

"We both said things we didn't mean today. It was a bad situation, but that doesn't make you bad."

Tony just shakes his head. It's not true. He knows it isn't. Why won't Bucky get on with it? Does he hate him that much now? Does he want to make Tony truly suffer?

But then Bucky pulls Tony into his arms. He guides his head to his shoulder and loops his arms around his waist. Tony goes because this is obviously where Bucky wants him, but he stays otherwise still. He realizes he is crying again – or still crying, he isn't sure – when he gets Bucky's shirt wet. But he can't seem to stop. Everything feels like too much right now. He is confused and fuzzy and overall a disaster. Disgusting.

He waits for more, but there is nothing else. Bucky goes back to petting his hair and saying... something. More like humming really. It's... nice. Relaxing.

Tony isn't sure how long they stay like that before something in him collapses. Surrenders. A different sort of surrender from the one he gave earlier while kneeling, but still one. It doesn't seem to hurt either, miraculously. Before submitting was always a painful experience.

Bucky picks him up. "JARVIS put on Star Trek please," he says as he lays them on the couch and covers them up with Tony's favorite blanket.

"Of course Sergeant Barnes," JARVIS answers.

It is enough to almost make Tony smile. JARVIS is the best. JARVIS and Bucky. He doesn't know what he would do without them. He closes his eyes and leans closer, listening to Kirk talk about... something or other. He doesn't really know right now. It's nice though. And it's not as if he hasn't seen this multiple times before.

Finally letting go of the rest of the tension in him, he floats.


End file.
